Hello to everyone,

I had an interesting conversation with the seller of a player piano
recently.  The piano is for sale in the Philadelphia Inquirer.  I hope
he is not a member of MMD.  Actually, I am certain he is not, since
his responses were the antithesis of the philosophy of MMDers.

It was listed as: Player piano, like new, best offer.

I called on behalf of someone I know who is looking for a pumper.  The
fellow described the piano as completely rebuilt, including the case.
He claimed to be a carpenter and so "I know what I'm doing when it
comes to wood."  He told me it was a Cunningham piano.  He has two
players and is selling one of them.  He had just last year completely
rebuilt the whole player, including the pneumatics, valves, pouches,
tubing, etc.  He added that it is "better than new."  I asked a few
questions.  These are his responses as best as I can remember:

    What model of player mechanism is inside:  "Uh, let's see.  I can't
    think of the name right now.  I did it last year.   Oh, let's see.
    What was the name?  It was a standard unit,  that's it.  It was
    a Standard.

    Did you use hide glue?  "Garbage!  That stuff is garbage.  I used
    3-30  (I didn't quite get the glue name).  That other stuff is
    garbage.  I would never touch that stuff.  This is better.  And I cut
    all new wood with all the holes cut in the same places when I
    recovered them.

    Does it have a working footpump?  "Garbage.  I threw that out.
    That's just junk anyway.  I have an electric motor in it.  It smoothes
    out all the notes.  You can't pump those foot pumps evenly, so the
    notes don't come out even.  When you play it, the lights on the front
    blink too.

    Does it still have ivory keys?  "That all garbage.  I replace it
    with plastic.  It has all new plastic keys.  I'm telling you this
    piano is better than new.  The finish looks like glass."

    How much are you asking for it?  "I'm taking the best offer."

    Do you have a ballpark figure that you are looking for?:  "Nope,
    I'm taking best offer."

His use of the word garbage was peppered throughout the conversation.
I remember hearing it at least three times.  This conversation is a
very accurate representation of what occurred.  I decided that I didn't
want to go near the piano, lights and all.  I held my tongue, thanked
him politely and said goodbye.

I thought this might be of interest to others.

Larry Toto