Several years ago I was asked to repair the Kimball spinet player piano
in a Shakey's Pizza Parlor.  The player was sluggish but it played
after a fashion.  The manager was concerned because the keys did not
move when the music (such as it was) played.

Well, can you imagine what I found when I opened the top?  There was
no wood between the center rail pin and where the white keytops ended
-- absolutely none!  -- nothing but a lovely spread of sawdust with
the tracks of tiny feet.  When I opened the knee panel about a dozen
little miceies scampered out.

Being a pizza house there was a lot of cheese around, and for dessert
Mickey and his friends seemed to like basswood or whatever the keys
were made of.

Of course this would require a completely new keyboard and Shakey's was
not about to invest in one, so I gave the manager the phone number of
a guy who specialized in disposing of old pianos, tearing them down for
parts, I suppose.  I later heard that this ill-fated instrument now
lies at the bottom of the Tama River!  I wonder how many others are
keeping it company.

As a side note, Yamaha Hamamatsu once reported that there were over
a million pianos sitting in homes covered with dust.  They had been
bought to make little Suzuko into a great concert pianist, but after
a few months of Czerny and Hanon the cover was closed and the piano
never touched again.

Another sad tale: I learned of a Steinway concert grand with an Ampico
action that was never used, and a collection of several hundred rolls.
I humbly visited the home to inquire if they were interested in selling
it.  The owner said it was impossible to sell because it was the only
place they had to display several dozen of family photos dating back to
the beginning of photography in Japan.  The rolls had long since been
wafted to heaven on a bonfire!  The piano's still there, I suppose.

To any of you who are ancient enough to remember Pogo, Walt Kelly's
comic strip character, may I wish you a very "Merry Crispness" as you
sing "Good King Sauerkraut" and "Wreck the walls with Boston Charlie!"
Oh, those happy days!

Vic Searle in Tokyo

 [ According to authorities(!) writing on the Internet, Suzuko means
 [ Little Bell and is a common name of the heroine in contemporary
 [ Japanese comic books.  Surely this modern young lady studied the
 [ Yamaha Music Education System (because surely it was recommended
 [ by the Yamaha dealer) that premiered in 1954.  See, for example,
 [ http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2493/is_1_55/ai_n14874254
 [ -- Robbie