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MMD > Archives > January 2009 > 2009.01.06 > 01Prev  Next

QRS Buffalo NY Annotated Thermometer
By Karl Ellison

QRS/Buffalo NY Temperature Guide

60 (F) and above
 ~ Pennsylvanians try to turn on the heat.
 ~ QRS employees open windows and complain of the heat.

50 above
 ~ Californians shiver uncontrollably.
 ~ QRS employees apply sun block.

40 above
 ~ Italian cars refuse to start.
 ~ QRS employees wash their cars in bathing suits on Saturday.

32 above
 ~ Distilled water freezes.
 ~ Lake Erie water gets thicker.

20 above
 ~ Floridans wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.
 ~ QRS employees throw on a heavy T-shirt.

15 above
 ~ New Jersey landlords finally turn up the heat.
 ~ QRS employees have the last company cook-out before it gets cold.

- 0 -
 ~ People in Miami cease to exist.
 ~ QRS employees close windows, thinking about where the storm windows
   are hidden.

20 below
 ~ Louisiana people get out their winter coats.
 ~ QRS employees have trouble getting end-tabs to stick.

40 below
 ~ Californians fly away to Mexico.
 ~ QRS employees begin selling rolls door-to-door.

60 below
 ~ Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
 ~ Bob Berkman postpones "Employee Winter Survival Driving" classes
   until it gets cold enough.

80 below
 ~ Mt. St. Helens freezes.
 ~ The QRS stenciling machine is sluggish.

100 below
 ~ Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
 ~ QRS employees get frustrated when the perforator won't start.

297 below
 ~ Roll masters have frozen solid.
 ~ Bob Berkman allows QRS office employees to wear gloves
   while working.

460 below (Absolute Zero)
 ~ All atomic motion stops.
 ~ QRS employees finally agree "It's getting a mite nippy."

(Message sent Mon 15 Nov 1999, 16:31:36 GMT, from time zone GMT-0500.)

Key Words in Subject:  Annotated, Buffalo, NY, QRS, Thermometer

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