The Winter 1997 issue of "The Sharper Image Home Collection" catalog
contains the following item:  "Vintage Gramophone: $595 ... Capturing the
spirit of nostaglia this old-fashioned gramophone is run by an original
mechanism (the casement and horn are reproductions); turn the working
crank to power the gramophone. The gramophone is made by hand, one at
a time, of plantation grown teak, and measures 19"W x 16"D x 28"H."

The accompanying photo shows a brand-spankin' new machine, with a fancy
brass morning glory horn, and a mahogany-colored case with engaged, turned
corner columns (very Columbia-looking to me).  There's a color "HMV" decal
on the front.  From the photo angle, I can't tell what kind of reproducer
it has.  I'll bet they stuck an Orthophonic-type on it so the purchaser
can play their parents' 1940's Big Band records on what's supposed to be a
circa 1910 machine!  The way the crank handle sticks way out from the case
indicates to me that they're probably taking the motors out of "basket-
case" Victrolas (or even worse, Silvertones!) and retrofitting them in
these "teak" (gasp!) cases.

Yikes! Not to be politically incorrect with my terminology, but this
is a prime example of what I call "Phono-Rape" -- it ranks up there with
converting Victrolas into bars!  Seems to me that anyone with the
disposable income to waste $595 on something that's never going to
increase in value can spend the $1000 - 1500 to obtain a REAL external
horn gramophone that's only going to increase in value!!!

Of course, I'm not telling the rest of you anything new, but ... I very
much fear that these "new" gramophones will make their way into flea
markets and antique malls, only to be sold to the unwary mechanical music
newcomer as originals.  Oh well, "caveat emptor gramophoni", I guess!!!

Jim Canavan¶
CYBRFLASH@aol.com¶
Alexandria, VA