I will be setting up a $5 per minute '900' number telephone service
soon for the MMD members.  Dial it and you will get the following
instructions:

  Press one (1) to find out how many Violanos are left in this
  mortal world.

  Press two (2) to find out the value of any Violano (restored
  to museum specs, of course).

  Press three (3) to find out the originator of Jazz music.

  Press four (4) to find out the first stride pianist.

  Press five (5) to find out the value of any Steinway Player.

  Press six (6) to find out to value of any Push-Up Player.

  Press seven (7) to find out why solenoid piano systems are really
  better than pneumatic piano systems.

  Press eight (8) to find out why pneumatic systems are really
  better than solenoid systems.

  Press nine (9) to find out how to convert your player piano
  into a household vacuum cleaner.

  Press the pound button (#) to listen to politically incorrect
  mechanical music (music only - no lyrics).

John Preble

 [ "Service also available for mobile telephones, and in airplanes
 [ for a modest surcharge!"  ;)  -- Robbie