Somewhere (but where?) I have a roll of

  "Would You Like To Be A General With An Eagle On Your Shoulder
  (Or A Private With A Chicken On Your Knee)"

Also, in a bunch of sheet music sent to me recently another gem lurked:
"In Sweet Onion Time (I'll Breathe My Love To You)".  The lyric of
the first chorus is quite mad :

  When it's sweet onion time in Bermuda,
  I'll breathe my love to you.
  In that fragrance divine, with your lips close to mine,
  Your eyes with teardrops will shine.
  We will frolic among the garlic,
  Till we hear those wedding bells chime.
  If you get lost in the dark I will find you,
  In Bermuda in sweet onion time.

There is a second chorus but I will spare you that.

John Farrell
http://homepages.tesco.net/~stridepiano/midifiles.htm