A customer who wanted to get rid of an old Remington upright player
in really bad shape towed it with a tractor out into the middle of
a pasture on his farm on a hot dry day, poured a gallon of diesel
fuel inside and outside, and lit it off.  The next day he dragged
the harp into the woods.

If you live in an urban area, you could try rolling it out to the
curb at dusk and placing a sign on it saying, "Piano for sale, $50."
With luck, it should be stolen before dawn.

Tim Gautreaux